Sunday, October 12, 2014

The Petty Pity Party - Review:- 10.10.2014

The Petty Pity Party. Weakest episode of the week. Linda Carter's dilemma deserved better company.

I know the show can't fire on all cylinders all of the time, but this was such a drop (and a drip) from the previous quality of the past fortnight and before that, that it really doesn't merit much comment.

The saviours of that episode were Linda and Ronnie, and even both of those situations were far from perfect.

The Brannings and the Beales. Oh gosh, the most boring love story featuring the most beautiful, yet the most boring, selfish, self-centered, entitled young couple on the Square. Who gives a flying feck about Lauren and Peter? She's been around the block more times than anyone cares to remember, and with nameless, faceless men; and if he thinks she's a step-up from Lola, he needs to scratch the surface. The Brannings, all of them, are just jumped-up trailer trash who scrub up well. Lauren's attempted murder, she's destroyed property whilst driving drunk, she's assaulted Peter's sister and criminally damaged her business. She's slept with her cousin, shagged and shared the ubiquitously brain-dead Tyler Moon and broken up a marriage, and she's better than Lola?

First of all, neither she nor Peter exhibit any common sense - well, the Brannings never do when they're thinking about themselves, and let's face it, "selfish" was a word invented for the Brannings, exclusively.

Take Abi and Lauren, for example - both spent forces as characters on this show. Abi's head is way up the inside of her arse, and Lauren's is even further up hers. It never once occurs to Lauren, whose escapades and peccadilloes have determined the course of the Branning family for the past three years, that Abi's been dumped - something quite traumatic for Abi - she's killed the family pet, as a result, and she's in a quandry about her university career. In storms Lauren, who plans a family lunch, not to make her father and sister feel any better, but for the purpose of announcing that she and Peter Posh are once again an item.

For one brief instant, I couldn't understand why Max might feel uneasy about this when I suddenly remembered that Max and Lucy had been something of an item in the weeks leading up to her death. So, to reiterate, Lauren is now dating the brother of her best friend, who was sleeping with Lauren's father.

Of course, Abi is all about Abi, but she had a peevish, childish point when she pointed out to Max that Lauren had done nothing but drink about on her lazy arse and cause problems for the past few years, where Abi had been working toward a goal. Now Lauren was getting what she wanted, when Abi's been working so hard and her dream is crushed - well, it was pretty much crushed by Abi, herself.

It was hard going watching some of the most unlikeable characters on the programme make themselves even more unlikeable. Ian's disdain of Max is laughable in the extreme, considering the fact that Ian's cherished daughter initially slept with Max in order to secure an investment of a grand for her silly business, whilst Ian slept with Max's ex-sister-in-law for money as well. OK, let's go through this again: Lauren and Peter are together. Peter is the brother of Lauren's best friend, who slept with Lauren's dad, whilst Peter's dad propositioned Lauren's aunt, who is a crackhead prostitute.

And Lola wasn't good enough for Peter.

A curious juxtaposition of Cotton advice sealed Ian's fate re Max - Dot preached the doctrine of forgiveness, which enabled Ian to sit down and down a pint or two with Max and the motley crew, whilst Cotton, Charlie advised Ian that even though Grandma Cotton preached the Gospel, Charlie dealt in facts, and facts were that Max had moved on from canoodling Lucy to canoodling the police officer investigating her murder.

One of the highlights of the episode was seeing DI Keeble arrive with DC Emma One-Cell and informing her professionally of her role in the current investigation:-

You're going to keep your mouth shut and say nothing.

Throughout this vignette, we have Lauren screeching about sneaking around and lying, even to the point of telling her father off about his behaviour again - what was that about parents not being seen through the eyes of their children, Mr Treadwell-Collins? - and yet, here's Summerhayes sneaking about liaising with Max, only to tell him that they-had-to-cool-it-again-until-the-investigation-was-over-now-if-you'll-excuse-me-Max-I've-just-shat-my-knickers-and-have-to-go-change. Of course, after Ian confronts Max about, possibly, contaminating Lucy's investigation, what does Max do? Why, make an anonymous phonecall, revealing that Summerhayes was sleeping with Max.

A couple of things to remember here - 

1. Remember when Lauren was asking Max why he'd slept with Lucy, and Summerhayes had just entered the cafe? Max replied, looking at DC One-Cell, that he sometimes got too involved with vulnerable young girls and destroyed them? Big foreshadowing.

And ...

2. Remember Summerhayes said she had a fiancĂ©, with whom she wasn't getting along? Now look who it is following Lauren and Peter. I wonder if he is the cuckholded fiancĂ© and we are setting up (sigh) yet again another love triangle?

More's the pity, that we're stuck with Abi, who isn't going to Bolton. Good enough reason - she didn't want to go there and the course wasn't for her. So what's she going to do? Re-take the A-Levels and hope for better results or just whine around and moan?

Really, the only interesting Branning left is Max. The others are toast and should go.

Days of Future Past (Again). Gosh! Kudos to Nancy. Someone's recognised that this is more than a hangover for Linda. Even when Mick asserting that she's sick - and he's her partner, who should read her like a book - it's her child, and in particular, her daughter - who susses that Linda doesn't do sickness, and this is something else. Still, she humours Linda, and those scenes are priceless, with Maddie Hill coming into her own, coaxing back Linda's confidence with tomato soup and sausage rolls and a dvd of Patrick Swayze. Linda is quick to remember what else is in the bottom of her wardrobe and warns Nancy off looking for a book in there. She even offers to come down and help tidy the pub, which is when the penny drops for Johnny that Linda hasn't done her hair in days. And when she encounters Dean.

Dean is now so messed up, it's almost as if he has a dichotomy of personality. The foreshadowing is there for a Dean-Stacey relationship, where he seems perfectly normal and supportive of Stacey's efforts, accepting the fact that she put Lily first before going out for a drink. That would impress Dean, as Stacey is a mum whose child is her priority. But his final scene with Linda was bizarre, thanking her sincerely for helping him in ways she'll never know, assuring her that Mick won't find out. I can't figure out if he genuinely believes he did nothing wrong and that her frozen fear was quiet acquiesence or if he's toying with her in a way that indicates that he is still in control of the situation?

Oh, Linda ... don't get rid of the dress and panties. Now it really is your word against his.

Another Generation of Psychopath. Baby Boy Mitchell-Cotton. Son of Ronnie and Charlie, grandson of Archie and Nick. He'll probably come out with "666" stamped on his forehead. Bet she calls him Damien.

Sharon Mitchell's name above the door. Enough said. Again, as Jay pointed out.

Weakest episode of the week.

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