Sunday, January 4, 2015

New Year's Week: Entitled Ladies Syndrome - Review:- 29.12.2014

Very good start to the week. I would have given that a 10 out of 10, except for one big glaring bit of bad continuity.

Two Entitled Ladies I: The Creature from the Black Lagoon (and Her Spawn).



The pub's a mess, Mick's catatonic and Dean's in a hurry to leave town. Oh, and Shirley's suddenly remembered that Denise is her friend. Of course, Shirley remembers that Denise is her friend when Shirley has need of her.

Linda's left Walford, and Shirley is convinced that makes Linda the guilty liar, so when Dean wants to leave, Shirley counsels him against doing so.

Everyone will think you're guilty! she cried. (Pssst, Shirley, he is guilty.)

Shirley is so arrogant in her assumptions, she thinks the only thing she has to do is talk to Mick, and he'll listen to reason. Why not? Whenever she's talked to him before during the year, he's been all ears, to the point that he's actually sidelined his life partner in favour of Shirley. Dean? He's not so keen in having Shirley do that, for reasons that are obvious to the viewer. He just wants to leave. With Shirley. A ooy and his ma ... awwwww .... a chance for widdle Dean to revisit the childhood he never had, with Mother Dearest.

But Mummy refuses. She can't leave the Vic. Why? They're faaaaiiiirrrmly! (Yes, but the Vic affords Shirley some sort of prestige in the community.)

They're your family, not mine! Dean has a point. Once upon a time, Shirley had another family - Kevin, Jimbo, Carly and baby Dean.

Shirley was at her most despicable in this episode. DTC is right about one thing - she certainly wasn't sympathetic in this episode. The incident of Linda's rape has brought out the utmost worst in Shirley. She was certainly at her vilest. This less about her support for Dean than about Shirley staking her claim to a power position within the Carter dynamic. She's never liked Linda; I don't care how many times people bleat on about her grudgingly and drunkenly according Linda some respect at Linda's first Ladies' Night outing, she hates her. 

I will keep harping on and reminding people that Shirley told Linda, in the presence of Mick and Nancy, that Linda's children hated Linda and wanted her gone. And Saint Mick said nothing.

Mick, meanwhile, confirmed tonight that he really is the weakest link in a co-dependent relationship. He simply ceases to function sans Linda. They have been fused together in a psychosexual relationship since they were children, and she's as much a part of him as the air that he breathes. With Linda, however, it's a bit different. She can and could stand on her own, independent of Mick, but as much as she loves him, I do think she recognises his inherent weakness. Yet another EastEnders' couple consisting of a dominant female and a weak, gormless, co-dependent male.

Just as Mick is dependent on Linda, Linda gets only so far in her independence from Mick. Presumably this episode takes place on Boxing Day, as it's the morning after the day before, when the Christmas punters were chased from the pub. She's spent one night away when she comes back with Elaine. The mess in the pub frightens her as much as it confuses Lee and Nancy. It wasn't rocket science that Nancy is assuming there may have been an affair with Dean. It was Nancy who say Linda comforting Dean.

What frightens Linda is the length Mick went to in the wake of her departure - demolishing their livelihood.

Whilst Linda is busy scurrying across the Square to Sharon's house, Shirley is busy nobbling a suddenly-mature Tina into getting her onside in Operation Ditch Linda. What's happened to Tina? Since she got battered by Tosh, she seems to have developed some sort of adult common sense. Gone are the fairy wings, the bunches, the silly singsong attitude. I actually like this character now. Her message to Shirley is succinct.

I think you should take Dean and go.

Dean is no longer a part of their dynamic; he's not welcome at the pub, he's not wanted in Walford; but Shirley is like a rottweiler in her determination to prove Linda a liar.

The scenes at the Mitchell house were great, with another soupcon to the dominated male - Phil Mitchell being bossed about his gaff, first by his wife ~ Get your feet down ~ and Elaine ordering Phil to make the tea.

Lines of the night to Elaine and Phil:-

Elaine: Hello, I'm Elaine, and you are ...?
Phil: Annoyed.


First Linda, followed by Mick and Elaine descend upon the Mitchell house as neutral ground for negotiating a relationship, and it's here that a wider spectrum of people come to realise exactly what Dean did to Linda. With the worst sort of difficulty, she tells Elaine. Elaine, however, I think knows what happened with Dean ...

I know this has to do with Dean. If it's not an affair, then what is it?

This is the gentlest of goading as only a mother can do, inferring to Linda that she, Elaine, sorta kinda can figure out what happened with Dean, she just needs Linda to articulate it. When and if you watch that scene again, watch the seconds-long pan of Sharon's face as she clocks exactly what has happened to Linda without a word being said.

It took this "counselling session" at the Mitchells for Mick to have an epiphany - it wasn't just about him blurting out what had happened to Linda to Stan and Tina, it was the rest of what he said - he simply wasn't there for Linda, not just on the night she was raped (when he was off chasing after the wild, fugitive Shirley), it was the way he'd subtly treated her all year long, deferring to Shirley, not listening to Linda's concerns, not looking out for her.

Linda just wants things to get back to the way they were - as if, Linda. You're having a baby, which may or may not be your husband's, although as Mick reiterated to Stan, this isn't about the baby's paternity. This is about Mick regaining Linda's trust and putting her before the rest of his family.

And in comes Shirley ... not looking for Mick, but for ... surprise, surprise ... Phil. Why? Three guesses. Money, money and money. Whenever Shirl gets in a bind, she reckons that Phil's the soft touch to give her some dosh. She wants the money to do a runner with Dean. It amazes me how entitled Shirley is with respect to Phil. He's finished with her, he's chosen Sharon, who's his wife; yet it's Shirley who barges into his house, demanding money, even demanding to know for whom Phil's making four cups of tea. Is this bitch for real?

So Shirley, being Shirley, barges right through for the mother (pun intended) of all confrontations with Mick, where she calls Linda a liar and tries to scream her version of events to Mick, because this is what this whole episode is about - Shirley elbowing Linda out so she can control Mick and Dean and shack them up to play happy families with Buster Bloodvessel.

Boy, Shirl burned her bridges with that one. She'd burned them from the very beginning, judging by the look of death Elaine shot her when she arrived in Walford. But Shirl's going to stick it out and fight, because she's in the right, dontcha know? Dean knows deep down what he's done, which is why he's scarpering in he first place, but Mamma has to remind him that Linda is of no worth, not being "blood family."

The Good and the Bad of Continuity. The good is Denise, remembering that Stacey Slater has done some bad things in her time - as bad as or worse than Dean, because she's killed a man. Denise's assessment that Stacey is no angel is apt.

The bad is ... Archie's Money. That's what Shirley requested from Phil - Archie Mitchell's money. I assume she's talking about the 25K or so that Roxy and Alfie cobbled together in cash to pay for Ronnie's wedding to Jack, because that is everything that was left after Roxy's ginormous spending spree. Oh, and by the way, a hefty hunk of that money was conned out of Roxy by Shirley to buy back the Arches from Pat for Phil.

But wait ... Roxy got her money back. Think back to 2011 and Glenda's departure. Glenda sussed that Phil was responsible for the theft of Roxy's money, and she and Roxy planned to sneak into Phil's house and steal the stash. Phil found out about the venture and confronted them, but only after he had arranged for Masood to plant the missing money in Glenda's flat in her bedroom. So Roxy got that money back. 

Where this mysterious myth of Archie Mitchell's money comes from is anyone's guess, but since Roxy's money was restored to her during Bryan Kirkwood's watch, I guess it never happened. :blink: 

Two Entitled Ladies II: Roswell Ronnie's Rank Revealings.



Two psychopaths walk into a pub ... well, not a pub, really, into Roxy Mitchell's house. Charlie Cotton is cold on the carlot, and Ronnie suggests he wear her tights. Emasculation much? Very symbolic of the ritual psychological castration EastEnders effects on male characters, and Charlie's a prime example of that.

Intriguing mystery charactet when he arrived, he's desintegrated into little more than Ronnie Mitchell's lapdog, the sperm donor for her child. If she loves this man, I'm a Dutchman. She likes him as her pet man, someone to tickle her fancy in bed of a night and if a baby is dropped, all the better for her fetish.

Ronnie the psychopath is all about control, and now she's got someone far more important to control than living vicariously through Roxy's lovelife. (Very significant that Roxy's chosen piece of music for Ronnie's wedding, two days away, is Tainted Love.. Yet for one brief, shining moment tonight, Charlie Cotton reached into the depths of his y-fronts and found his balls. Here was Ronnie issuing orders about Nick outstaying his welcome, implying that Nick's presence was bad for Dot, bad for Yvonne and bad for Charlie. Charlie, however, is affronted. Nick's presence makes Dot and Yvonne happy. (Why wouldn't it? Nick is Dot's only child, and she loves him unconditionally; and Nick has been stiffing Yvonne, and she's not about to complain). Besides, as Charlie says, Nick is his father, and being there makes Nick happy. And the magic words to Ronnie?

It's nothing to do with you.

Charlie doesn't fear Ronnie, and if he's a psychopath like her, that's good, because the control games are going to be a sight to watch; but if he isn't, he should be afraid, because that little assertion sent warning bells ringing in Veronica's cold-blooded mind. She's losing control.

Nick isn't phased by her either. He just keeps upping the stakes and wanting more money, which sends the dimwit running to - you guessed it - The Bank of Phil. (Ronnie really isn't very bright. She looks for a quick fix monetary solution, and when that doesn't work out, she kills impulsively).

Phil's not giving her money, and he throws the ball right back in her court, asking why she didn't want him to do what she first suggested ages ago - kill Nick. Rising to the bait, Ronnie asks Phil if he's willing to do that. No, says Phil, Ronnie's more than capable of doing that. (Something else of which Veronica doesn't like to be reminded). So many things happen for her on New Year's Day - kidnapping a baby, killing a man. What will Thursday bring?

Two Entitled Ladies meet on Albert Square. Shirley Queen of Scrotes informs Roswell Ronnie that Phil has "Archie Mitchell's money". (He doesn't, really, but then everything that happened under Bryan Kirkwood and Lorraine Newman didn't happen at all.) It's like Ground Hog Day. Go figure.

As for the duff duff, Nick doesn't know what Ronnie is capable of doing, but Ronnie doesn't know that Nick has two murders under his belt, and he's walking around scot free to talk about them.

The Rest. Syvie suddenly got interesting. Just what did Stan do to her that made her run away? It must have been substantial for Stan to lose his mojo like any other Walford male and humbly apologise to Sylvie before she retreats to Babe's swamp. It's not the cancer that'll kill Stan; it's losing his balls to Sylvie.

And - JOY TO THE WORLD! - Dexter gets handed his arse and told to move to Newcastle by Nancy, who according to Dexter (innit?, should be weeping and wailing at the prospect of him leaving her. She isn't, you scrote. Piss off.

Good episode. 

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