Friday, February 17, 2017

Whiney Little Bitches - Review:- Friday 17.02.2017

And so Sean O'Connor continues in his efforts to fill EastEnders with a gaggle of the most unlikable characters in the history of the soap. The only bright beacons on the horizon this evening were Konrad, the Polish shopkeeper, and Kathy, and she kept pretty much in the background.

This was Monday's episode. We knew that because the kids were in school, and it was a disappointing episode, because it made hard the things which should have been logical and easy.

Psssst ... the worst kept secret in the world? Max is behind the food poisoning complaints. 

Michelle's Swiss Cheese Storyline. I'm surprised we don't lose sight of Michelle and her disgruntled Preston Prestonovich Prestonovski, the Brit speaking with an American accent and sounding like one-half of the old Saturday Night Live Czechoslovakian brothers ...


Fer shur, he is one wilde and crazy guy. 

Tell me, what is Florida fried chicken? There is no such thing. Please, writing room, we call it Southern fried chicken, becaussssssse ... Florida is in the South, right? Interesting to note that Michelle's and Prestonovich's first date consisted of Colonel Sanders's finest. 

Here's the biggest hole in the story: Michelle has no job and no money. God knows where she found the money to pay for Prestonovich's dinner, unless Sharon and Phil left her housekeeping money for Dennis and Louise. Out of the wrong side of her mouth, she's promised Prestonovich a ticket back to the US. 

Here's the problem .. He's a minor. He's 17. Surely his parents have tried ringing his phone? They must have notified the police that he's gone missing. A one-way ticket is always more expensive than a round trip one, and these days, airports and border patrol are always suspicious of people travelling on one-way tickets. Also, his parents must suspect he's gone off to be with his middle-aged lover, and they must have had the police check all the airport records. And in the case of her rejecting him out of hand, why didn't he just eat crow, tuck his tail between his precious little legs and call his parents? They'd have an e-ticket ready for him to print off immediately. Of course, his mamma would shame him and beat his white privileged ass. Instead, he's going to hang around like a bad smell, passive-aggressively reminding her about her promise.

A one-way ticket wouldn't break the bank - BA would shift him as far as Orlando for the sum total of £225. But that's a lot if you don't have it, and Ian won't spare that amount of small change for an old friend? How did Prestonovich get the money to get here anyway?

This Michelle, who isn't really Michelle, but a weak, horny, desperate rapist imposter, isn't really sorry for anything at all about her dalliance and rape of this kid, who's clearly messed up and even moreso for her actions; she's just sorry that her past has caught up with her. She was so ignorant, so arrogant that she thought running home and trying to start over would work, but you never shake off your past; and it took the end, literally, of everything for which she studied and for which she strove to bring this home to her. She lost everything because she abused a child in her trust. That's just sinking in right now, and all she wants him to do is just to leave, whilst she wallows in self-pity. At the moment, she's desperate for him to go because she's afraid that the longer he stays, there's a chance that their real relationship history will surface. Her claim that she still cared for him rang hollow. Someone like this woman would apportion the blame to the child in question instead of shouldering the entire responsibility for grooming him and encouraging his attentions.

The boy is very much the spoiled child, grabbing is jacket and flouncing out of the Mitchell house when Michelle rejected him yet again, and so his new game is to try to make her jealous by currying favour with Rebecca and cosying up to her. My guess is that Rebecca will find those pictures on his phone, and that will blow Michelle's sordid little secret, and it should. Whoever wanted this woman to complete and front the new Fowler unit as a matriarchal figure needs to think again. Who wants to associate with a rapist? Martin and Stacey have young children, and it's already been pointed out that Michelle has cosied up to Rebecca more as a friend than as her auntie, but I suppose she's Rebecca's idea of a cool auntie until the kid finds out what Michelle's been up to with Prestonovich.

This is a sordid, ugly little storyline, which has managed, irreparably, to ruin a seminal, iconic character. And the boy isn't a very nice person, who'll use Rebecca for his own end. 

Martin isn't going to be very happy.

The Fox Sisters: Same Shit Different Day. Somebody smack that feckless, tactless, shitty Kim, if only for the remark she made in Jack's hearing about preferring to go blind rather than have needle injections in her eye.

Neither of these women have benefitted from this storyline. I'm tired of both of them whining and whingeing about a child who should never have been born, but for someone old enough to know how to take precautions.

Kim is still so obtuse as to refuse to understand that an adopted child isn't a child who's discarded by his mother and raised by strangers. And for all she was a feckless mother, I don't like the fact that Denise is now suddenly referring to her mother - the only mother she's ever known - as Emerald, purposefully. This woman might have been short on responsibility, but someone had to care for, clean, rock to sleep and clothe the infant Denise. Emerald gave her a name and a family. For that, she should be grateful. Not only are the Fox sisters SOC's blisters, Denise is also SOC's resident adoptee. Remember Sharon referring to her mother as Angie? It's almost as if this producer has to repeat DTC's stuff his own way. WTF? Maybe Gavin was Denise's father.

It's also difficult for the selfish, unintelligent Kim to understand how Denise's gesture isn't an "easy" option. She's thought about this, and she's decided, for a myriad of reasons, that this child would be better off with younger parents, in a two-parent family, with people who want and love him. However, what is this gumpf about the child knowing who Denise is and where she is? Adoption records are sealed until the child in question is 18 years old. Who writes this stuff?

Lee. I was a bit disappointed in his departure. In fact, in the previous episode, I thought he was at the allotments, not Dover. And Mick getting to Dover and back from that part of London in a couple of hours? It's two hours in traffic each way.

I had to laugh, I must admit, listening to Whitney, kohl-eyed and with the chavvy nails and bling, wondering if she would fit in in Dover. Answer: She would have fit that town like a glove. Lee is with Beanbag, so I assume Beanbag's marriage is over, as he's staying in the town?

Mick is angry at Lee for the wrong reasons. He's fighting Whitney's corner, again for all the wrong reasons. I thought Lee would tell him some home truths about what a prick Mick had been, but I guess his rationale for going is as good as any - he never fit the civvy life in Walford, and Walford was where things began to unravel in his life. Basically, he's saying what Nancy could never say and what Tamwar saved her from saying - that the only way he could heal himself and have a meaningful life would be out of Walfore and away from Mick and his family. Part of his reason for going was Whitney, but as he pointedly didn't include Linda in that explanation, I presume the elephant in the room pressuring him was Mick.

I like that he alluded to wanting to be like his father's perfect image so much, striving to attain that in every way, and failing; but Mick didn't rush to inform Lee that he, Mick, was really weak and emotionally dependent on either Linda or Shirley - he admitted as much, omitting Shirley, to Linda in the wake of finding out about her rape. What did bother me was Mick suddenly seeming almost anxious, immediately, to agree with what Lee said, as if it didn't take much to convince him. You wonder how much he really did love his son.

As for Whitney, for all her crocodile tears and protestations of love and then her assumption that he would take her with him to his new life, he handed her his arse. He would always love her, probably more than she loved him; but he was just on notice, waiting for the scales to drop from her eyes and for her to realise he wasn't what she'd made him up in her mind to be. His nemesis Oz saw that with her from the beginning, and the fact that she was openly flirting with, first, Danny Mitchell and then cosying up to Beanbag in order to secure Lee a job, was indicative, not to mention her secret snogging with Mick.

For the first time in her life, the ubiquitous dependable bloke dumped Whitney,and you coudl tell from the hard glint in her eyes as she watched him leave, that Mick was well in her sights.

Other Observations. The fox analogy always had relevance for Den and Dennis Rickman. Now it's associated with a trapped and feral Lee, out of his natural environment and scrabbling around a rubbish heap of an existence with fear in his eyes. Lee was too kind to Mick, who effectively told him to leave Whitney and then upbraided him for having done so.

The constant whingeing about the bins annoys me, especially since now there's an infestation of mice and rats. With all the local government cutbacks, most coucils do fortnightly collections. That doesn;t  mean people and businesses allow rubbish to accumulate, uncollected for two weeks. There's a wonderful invention called the DUMP, and you can see hordes of people there every weekend, ridding themselves of rubbish.

Dot's storyline with Jack and the kids was sweet, but my mother-in-law has macular degeneration, and it doesn't get any better.

I think Max is behind the Vic's problems, but why is the mystery man so interested in the Vic? And didn't Konrad say his snacks were slightly out of date? Won't that cause more food poisoning complaints?

I'm wondering ... will the Carters lose the Vic? Oh, and tip to continuity for Kathy's mention of Magda.

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